Hopper at the Movies

Have some writer’s block going on, so … how about a couple of items of ephemera? A few movies I watched within the past five days.

Okay.

Watched Jim Carrey’s “suspense” “thriller” The Number 23 late last night. It was a mess, and I wanted to like it. You know, numbers and stuff. It’s based kinda on that “23” hokum in numerology which states that all significant events can be linked back to our ninth prime number. The story had some promise, some potential. I’ve even toyed for a long time of writing something similar-but-different about a book-about-a-book. But – I’m sorry, every time I saw Jim Carrey trying to emote all sinister and psychotic, Lloyd Christmas pops into mind. It didn’t work for me.

I give it a charitable C.

The thing about this “number 23” goofiness is, well, with enough creativity you can link anything to any number. Want an example? My first name contains two vowels and three consonants. 2 vowels and 3 consonants … 2 and 3 … 23! Ahh! I’m cursed! Or, if you take the year I was born, and add each of the four digits you get … you guessed it! I can’t escape the Lovecraftian evil of the Thing Which Is The Number 23!

Also watched two flicks this past weekend while the wife was out with the little ones. The Sasquatch Gang was completely derivative of Napoleon Dynamite, which I like only marginally. Indeed, some actors from the latter movie had cameos in the former. But despite a storyline involving a possible bigfoot sighting, it was an effort to watch. Ultimately, I think, I couldn’t like it because everyone was quirky, Quirky, QUIRKY!!! Quirky on steroids does not equal witty. Nor does it equal interesting, riveting, or memorable. Just dumb and kind of embarrassing. Although I did sort of like the Apple guy (of those Apple vs. PC commercials), who played the main mulleted antagonist.

Also a C.

Then, to cleanse the palate, I spent seventy-five minutes watching the vastly superior, vastly enjoyable, and always mega-geeky Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie. What better way to spend an afternoon? I used to watch these every Saturday morning in the mid-90s in my bachelor pad, usually hungover and eating last night’s pizza. This flick has Mike and the robots spoofing the classic This Island Earth. I must’ve laughed out loud at least a dozen times if not more. One day, when I get me some discretionary income, I need to buy one of the MST3K seasons on DVD.

Solid A.

It’s a good thing I can get these movies three-for-a-buck from the library. If I rented them from a video store I’d be out something like $15. That’d be sacrilege. Something of the order of wasting three hours of your life watching Jim Carrey stab twenty-three Sasquatches to death …