Monday, July 11, 2011

2 + 2 = 5


Aside from "in mathematician's hell," where and when does 2 + 2 = 5 ?

Hmmmmmm.

How about ...

On the homework assignments of individuals who still haven't grasped basic addition?

Or in some alternate universe where the symbol 5 actually means what our symbol 4 means?

Or as the output from some basic computer program -

10 INPUT X
20 INPUT Y
30 LET Z = X + Y
40 IF X = Y = 2 THEN Z = 5
50 PRINT Z

Or in some sort of time progression scenario, such as -

Two couples survive an airplane crash on a deserted island. Nine months later, there are now five people on the island. 2 + 2 = 5, after a nine-month period of pregnancy.

Or as an alphanumeric substitution code.

Write TWO plus TWO equals FIVE as a column math equation. Then substitute numbers for the letters. When I did it I came up with this - O is 5, E is 0, W is 4, V is 9, T is 8, F is 1, and I is 6. Try it. I think it works, but, admittedly, it's late and I'm watching a bad sci fi show on the teevee.

Or when your comparing two different quantities.

Let's say your an MVP NFL quarterback, and you renegotiate your contract with something your agent calls 2 plus 2 equals 5. What he means is two postseason appearances in two years will give you a five million dollar bonus. Or something like that. I'm not hip to these things, but I can envision something like it.

Or when your adding quantities to something that already has a quantity.

We have a thousand dollars in the bank. This year, I'll add two thousand and my wife will add another two thousand, so that two plus two will equal five (thousand).

Or that old standby, my personal favorite -

Two plus two equals five ... for large values of two.

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