It Is Itself

Whoa – I had an awesome dream last night!

See, here’s my m. o. concerning the midlife crisis: I read lots and lots of books and I have bittersweet dreams about the good ol’ days. Specifically, my awesome bachelor pad of ’92 to ’00, and my days in the band.

Last night I dreamed about the band, man. The band, man!

But this time it was different. My old band mates were not there. Instead, I was participating in some sort of American Idol Hollywood week. You know, where all the contestants of the contest are forced to group up into foursomes and perform in front of the audience and the judges in twenty-four hours. Now, the details weren’t exactly the same. No judges and twenty-four hour performance, for instance. It was more like a casting call for auditions.

I had my guitar and my amp and I was playing with confidence. There are multiple layers of confidence when it comes to playing an instrument, I’ve learned over the years. First, you get comfortable on the guitar. Then, through a series of quick ascents and very long plateaus, you come to master it. Or you master whatever level is required of you, i.e., to the level of the other musicians you play with or the level of what you’re trying to accomplish, such as performing live or recording demo tapes or whatnot. Finally, you reach a level of confidence where you intuit that the audience – whether non-musicians or, better yet, other musicians – knows you can play.

The dream was awesome because I was playing at this high level of confidence. I was able to choose who I wanted to play with in our little band, and not have to rely on somebody’s mercy or pairing up with inferior performers. There was this bass player dude similar to the guy I played with for years, but not quite him. We started a band together. I remember thinking in the dream, “Our music sounds like Alex Lifeson playing AC/DC,” but then I also remember thinking, “How cliché,” for some reason.

Best thing about the whole thing was the names we considered for the band. A whole list popped up, like credits on at the start of a teevee screen, over us jamming out. The only two I remember, however, were –

Gadfly

and

It Is Itself.

We went with It Is Itself and actually designed a logo with wavy and intertwined lower-case i’s.

Ah, nothing like a midlife crisis dream!