I Have Guaranteed a Ted Cruz Presidency

How?

Well, I signed up to take a course to become a tax preparer.

Huh?

Allow me a quick sidetrack.

I am not cut out for retail. I have no handy skills worth exploiting. I am not a shameless self-marketer. What I do like, I’ve found over the years, is helping people one-on-one understand complicated things. I did this anywhere from 800 to 3,500 times in my career, by my off-the-cuff reckoning. Payroll, benefits, health plans, company policies and procedures, 401k questions, you name it, I helped employees navigate these dreaded waters. Most times, believe it or not, with a smile on my face.

Now, tax preparation, you say? What next, Hopper, a hair shirt? Self-flagellating purgatorial scourging? Not at all. When it comes to taxes, I know a fair deal already. It’s only cousin to what I’ve been doing since 2002. And two other people have told me I’d be good at it – including the woman who used to do my taxes.

Now – how does this get Ted Cruz, of all people, elected President?

Simple.

I watched him on TV the other day and saw him hawking his ten percent flat tax plan, arguing it will eliminate the IRS and boost GDP, increase wages, and create jobs. And all the taxpayer need do is fill out a post card once a year and mail it to the Treasury.

Thus eliminating the need for people like me, who would like to help you file your returns.

See the logic? Trust me, it’s irrefutable.