Texas Hockey

 

A big theme down here when we watch the Stars is “Texas Hockey.” As in rowdy announcers warning us to get ready for some … Texas Hockey!! It’s on the advertising, it’s on the pre-game commercials. Texas Hockey.

Which just strikes me as odd. Sorry, I enjoy it and all, but hockey is … a winter sport. Yeah, the playoffs run to mid-June. Yeah, the season starts in October when it still can get quite warm and the leaves have not yet turned colors and fallen off the trees. Hockey was always associated with cold, snow, and, well, ice. As a kid, we all played baseball in the spring and summer, football in the fall, and when it got too cold to go outside to play, we broke out the sticks and played hockey in our basements.

Now, it doesn’t rise to the level of full oxymoron. You know, “Jumbo Shrimp” and “Honest Politician” and all. But it’s up there on the scale. Maybe a linguistic taxidermist could label it a “minor oxymoron” or, even better, an “oxyminor.” I dunno. I’ve had better ideas.

Texas Hockey!

The Stars have been down here since 1993, and that’s 31 years, so yeah, I guess there is a thing such as Texas hockey. They moved down here, however, from the more apropos Minnesota, where they were called the North Stars. When I study a map of NHL franchises, I see a handful of teams south of the Mason-Dixon Line (eight, actually), and two that are of latitudes more southern than we here in Dallas (the Tampa Bay Lightning, formed in 1992, and the Florida Panthers, founded a year later).

I guess my gut is telling me hockey “should” only be played in a location where … ice stays ice when left outside. At least for more than a couple of hours a year. You know, anywhere in Canada. Chicago. New York, Boston, Pennsylvania. Anywhere potentially north of the Sun Belt.

Anyway, I’ve spent a while trying to convince my wife of my convictions, and she’s come to see things my way. We amuse ourselves now trying to come up with similar “oxyminors”, activities that are proudly done in places where one might least suspect them. Such as …

 

New England Bull-riding!

Miami Skiing!

The 2024 Arizona Luge Championships!

Seattle Surfing Safari! Catch the Wave!

…….

Texas Hockey!

I absolutely do not own this t-shirt, nor do I absolutely want it for 

Father's Day, my birthday, or Christmas.