O'Doul's

O'Doul's is perhaps the most well-known non-alcoholic beer on the market today. I make this statement because it's the only non-alcoholic beer average joe me knows. In actuality, though, it's not 100 percent alcohol-free. Each bottle has about a tenth of the alcohol of a regular bottle of beer, or about 0.5 percent alcohol by volume.

There's an old Zach Galifianakis joke that goes something like this:


I've been trying to quit drinking so I switched to O'Doul's. One day I drank a case of O'Douls and was pulled over by a cop later that night. He said, "You been drinking, son?" I said, "Kinda." I said, "I'm trying to quit drinking, officer, so I switched to O'Doul's non-alcoholic beer." So he wrote me a ticket. He wrote me a ticket for being a gaylord.


Yesterday I drank two O'Doul's out on my deck, sitting in the sun in the peace and quiet while my wife had the two little ones at the park. You know what? I actually liked it. I never thought I'd think this, but it tasted good. You'd never know there was, basically, no alcohol in there. For about an hour I had a nice simple pleasure, one I hadn't had in a long time, without any of the potential harm. I enjoyed myself.

Now that it seems spring is finally here, and summer just on the horizon, I may check out other brands of non-alcoholic beer. It's not a high priority, but I'm looking for simple ways to simply bring back some enjoyment in my slightly overstressed existence. This might be one.

Just don't write me a ticket for being a -