BDC Bama-style

Let's say you work at a car dealership as a manager of an internet department. You know, you hire a bunch of twentysomethings to gab with customers on the dealer's website or over the phone. Pay them ten bucks an hour, and let them earn a commission. Something like, oh, fifteen bucks for every customer they get to physically come into the store and thirty bucks if said customer buys a vehicle. You get a nice salary and a piece of their action.

Now, say your HR Manager comes to you with a dilemma. It seems dealership policy allows one-point-five lates a week, or six instances of tardiness a month. If anyone accumulates a dozen tardies in two months, they're outta there. No exceptions. Your HR Manager is tracking two of your internet worker bees approaching that dreaded twelve-in-two figure.

One of them booked 175 appointments last month, 32 of which purchased a car. The other one brought only 66 customers in, with 8 buying. They've both only been in your employ for six weeks, and both possess that typically Gen-Y trait of refusing to be beholden to a clock.

No - let's ratchet things up a notch. Say two more weeks go by and, despite a talking-to by you, both our little internet sellers rack up three lates each. HR guy, sweating from pressure from above, thrusts papers in front of you and wants you to act.

Question: What do you do?

Obviously, you want to keep the productive dude and toss the dead weight. But - can you?

For the remainder of my post, I am going to assume a speaking style reminiscent of our Commander-in-Chief in full campaign mode. Please imagine it as you read further. So let me clear my throat, pull up my teleprompter, and begin.

"There are some who say, 'You should fire both employees.' Both employees broke the rules they signed on to when they joined the organization. Now, we call these folks, socialists. These folks'll be all jumpin' and shoutin' for social justice and all. And they have a point. Fair's fair, n all that.

"There are others who say, 'You should keep the productive employee and fire the rule-breaker.' After all, the purpose of a business is to turn a profit. The first employee helps in that regard, and the second, well, let's say he's just all jumpin' and shoutin' for a commission check that's not gonna be comin' his way. We call these folks, capitalists. Free-market capitalists, with maybe a streak of libertarian in 'em.

"Then there are still others who say, 'You should reward the productive employee with flexible hours, so long as he keeps up his sales, and put the second one on probation.' Work with 'em, help 'em, so in a month or two he'll be all jumpin' and shoutin' with all the money he's makin'. These folks, folks who say things like this, we call smart businessmen."

All right - enough of that. If I was that manager, I'd obviously take the third route. Wouldn't you? The real question is how to keep that rabid HR guy off your back ...