Interviewer

Hired my first employee today for my company. We were seeking a retired person to work for us a few hours a day to take the deposits to the bank, to travel to our other locations with supplies and interoffice items, to retrieve files from our storage facility as needed. Not a high-profile, high-stress job, just one that requires someone to show up on time, every day he’s scheduled to work, and do his job with no problems.

I interviewed three men last week. A fourth never showed. Of those who did, all were retired and varied in age from 45 to 68. I explained the position, the policies, the procedures, the pay, the perks. (Not many of that last one.) I explained how and why we’d be doing background checks, including a driver’s license check since the employee would be driving one of our company cars. I listened, and listened, and listened. Occasionally they’d let me get a question in.

So my boss, harried and hurried with a zillion things, tells me yesterday, “just pick one and hire him.”

I did. I brought him in, got him drug tested, gave him a quick new hire orientation, showed him around and introduced him to the people he’d be interacting with. “He seems nice,” said one lady to me later.

“Watch … he’s probably a serial killer,” she added.

“Or he’ll total one of our cars the first week he’s here,” was my tongue-in-cheek reply.

Please don’t, New Guy. I need this job!