The Green Hornet

All right. Often in my literary and cinematic tastes I tend to go against public opinion and conventional wisdom. When all my friends and millions of entertainment consumers out there love something, I’ll cross my arms and point out why I hate it, as long as I legitimately disdain it. I’m not a gadfly or a curmudgeon, you know. Similarly, when everybody hates a show or a book or a movie, and somehow someway I like it, I have no problem saying so.

It appears I’m going to continue this trend with this review.

The Green Hornet, starring Seth Rogen: I liked it.

I’m actually shrugging my shoulders as I’m typing this. Me and my pal watched it last night, renting it for a buck from one of those Redbox kiosks. My wife and her girlfriend saw it in the theaters. Millions – I guess, maybe it was thousands – saw it, too, when it was unleashed unto the public this past January. Most if not all came away with the opinion that it was completely crappy to borderline crappy.

I, however, liked it.

The movie follows the standard formulaic superhero movie algorithm: somewhat ordinary guy meets tragedy, discovers either super power or applies his vast wealth to create a super power, fights crime, minor showdown with bad guy, major showdown with bad guy. So I’m not going to go into details of the plot. There are no surprises, but that’s to be expected. I didn’t hold it against the film because I figgered upon it going into it.

From what I’ve heard and read, the film disappointed mainly on two points. Two very big points: Seth Rogen as the Green Hornet, and Christoph Waltz as the bad guy, Chudnofsky. A lot of people came away thinking Rogen’s shtoner shtick as inappropriate for a superhero flick. And I’ve read somes that Christoph’s baddie is a far, far cry from his terrifying, Oscar-winning portrayal of a Nazi villain in Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds.

To small extents, I agree. I don’t know why it is exactly, but I enjoy Rogen’s act. Probably because he reminds me of at least two guys I hung out with a lot in my youth. The thing is, he’s not an ac-tor, he’s just a guy with a goofy personality that shows through every role he plays, regardless of the role. While I watched The Green Hornet I enjoyed his “careless and carefree schlub” interpretation of the part; I thought it attacked that formulaic algorithm from a unique angle.

In my wife’s opinion, not so much.

Yes, Chudnofsky was too cartoonish compared to Tarantino’s sick Nazi bastard, but this movie is a cartoon. His over-the-top violence, though, grated on me after a while. Two things I absolutely hate about bad guys. The first I call Evil to the Very End. That’s where the villain or one of the villain’s henchmen, at the very abyss of death and meeting his Maker, will still try with his last dying breath to slaughter our hero. The second is the Bad Guy Who Inspires Loyalty in His Minions By Killing Them Unpredictably in Fits of Anger. That should be self-explanatory. Both are on display here.

A couple other things annoyed me. Too many car chases, too many car crashes. About forty-thousand headache-inducing rounds of ammunition fired off, and that’s by the one-hour mark. An absolutely miscast and frankly irritating Cameron Diaz. Multi-cultural henchmen and minions costumed straight out of an 80s Michael Jackson video.

But still I managed to look past that, for one major reason.

Kato.

Kato is the reason to see this movie. He’s really the heart and soul of it, whereas Green Hornet is just obnoxious comic relief. The choreography and special cinematic effects during the martial arts scenes involving Kato are the movie. They’re very, very well done and quite a pleasure to watch. And they share anchoring duty with the Batman-like technology: that black 60s car with its bullet-proof glass and 21st century armor and the weaponry the vast array of buttons and switches on the dashboard unleash. I even liked the minimalist costumes; everything tied in with everything else to give a perfect balance of modern metallic retro.

So, weighing the pros and the cons and doing some mental calculus, I come up with a grade of B-plus for the film.

Your mileage may vary.