Bond 23

About two years ago I posted some thoughts at length on how to resurrect the James Bond franchise. In fact, I wrote up a ten-point plan for making the next Bond movie – the 23rd by canon count – a solid box office smash. Soon after, I posted a list of outside-the-box supervillains that would spark genuine interest and excitement, in direct contradistinction to the bland euroweenies the producers currently favor as 007 foes.

It seems, perhaps, the powers that be are paralleling some of my ideas. There are hints that the Bond 23 villain will be … Blofeld.

Capital!

May I make another suggestion though?

To update Blofeld, to make him a real, true bad@ss, there’s one person you need to cast in the role.

Seal.

Think about it. First off, he’s bald. Check. That’s all you really need to establish the connection to the Donald Pleasance Blofeld. But the newer model has to be a 21st-century magalomaniac. Seal’s got that look: the facial scars, the musculature to combat Bond one-on-one, and the studio wouldn’t even need to hire a wardrobe department to fit him out in bad@ass clothing. Plus, it’s been something near to forty years since Bond has faced off against a black supervillain.

And while I was thinking about this, I came up with two more scenarios worthy of a megalomaniacal genius bent on global domination.

Have him create some esoteric belief system – a “mind virus” – that converts the listener into suicidal, crazed, over-devoted semi-automatons. Now, it sounds crude spat out into that sentence, but I think it could be done without hokiness or Anton Mesmer-like tricks or 1950s spinning sci-fi devices. Kinda like Heinlein’s Puppet Masters without the slimy slugs. Or maybe throw something slimy in. Handled delicately, in the loving arms of a capable screenwriter and director, without revealing too much too soon, it could be a great ticking time-bomb for Bond to diffuse.

Keeping with the SF theme, why not have reports of super-stealth objects shooting down our aircraft and maneuvering about at impossible speeds. Gradually it’s revealed Blofeld’s behind it all, and gradually it’s revealed he’s responsible for a years-earlier raid on … Area 51! Now, you don’t have to show ETs and you don’t have to go too overboard with the conspiracy theory, nor show too much of the flying saucers our evil genius has reverse engineered. It’s a MacGuffin. But it will intrigue audiences with something unexpected, hopefully in an unexpectedly cool way.

So, producers of Bond 23, consider this, my gift to you, as a fan of old-school Bond!


Your father’s Blofeld:

Your Blofeld!