Crash! Thud!

So I was sleeping nice and peaceful-like, snoring away like a baby in its crib, when – CRASH! An earth-shaking impossibly loud thud wakes me from my slumbers and sets my heart racing.

What was that? What the heck was that noise??

The first thing that races through my mind is home invasion. Where is that iron bar I keep handy for situations like these? Well, theoretically I keep it handy. Haven’t seen it since Patch was born three years’ back.

Maybe it’s not a home invasion. Maybe I can go back to sleep.

Yeah, right.

Perhaps a stack of children’s books or games or toy bins fell over. The noise did originate from that part of the house. But – what would cause it to tip over just then, at 4:30 am? A mouse? A larger critter? Something unspeakable?

No!

I have to investigate. I get up and slowly move towards the source of the noise. Slowly. Don’t want to surprise any thievery. Nothing. Nothing amiss in the darkness. I venture to turn the light switch, and the suspicion of nothing-out-of-place-ness leaves me perplexed.

It is windy outside. Could …

Wait a minute. I ease up to the door to the outside deck, throw on the outside light, and guess what I found?

A gigantic, hundred-pound tree branch, about twenty spindly feet long, has crashed onto my freshly painted deck!

The offending intruder. (Note the Christmas elf at the door.)

Another view. Imagine if that hit a window!

Most likely point of origination of the Death from the Skies! My neighbor’s back yard.

The view from my kitchen window.