Lore Office

Living in northern New Jersey, I’m exposed to a lot of New York accents on the AM airwaves. Now, although I am about to poke fun at a sub-dialect of New Yorker, “Lawn-Guyland-ese,” by no means do I think my own North Jersey accent is to any degree Shakespearean by comparison.

Anyway, I’m listening to talk radio the other day picking up my children from day care when a commercial for some law office comes on. It sounds purely and simply to my ears as “Lore Office.” This immediately got my brain thinking off on a tangent as I drove down the street, negotiated traffic, parked, and picked up the little ones.

Lore Office.

As in, “Hey, I need some info on the Elder Edda, and fast, buddy! Can ya help me?”

“Sure, sit down. Fill out this paperwork and we’ll have all your lore needs satisfied in no time.”

“What about pre-colonial Native American tribal legends?”

“Pre- or Post-, not a problem.”

“My brother-in-law’s cousin has contractual dispute with his business partner over who has greater powers: Ares or Thor – ”

“Our firm specializes in both Greek and Norse Mythology.”

“Do you bill by the hour?”

“We bill by the epoch.”