Thursday, May 19, 2016


About six months ago our local A&P was bought by Acme.

This caused me great distress.

Now, this is not a case of Hopper being overhyperbolic. They actually thought it a good idea to rearrange the entire store. For three months I couldn’t find half the stuff I go to the grocery store to buy. (A typical weekly run by me for the family averages 40-50 items totaling $150-$200.) Apparently I wasn’t the only long-time customer distressed; they actually handed out maps of the new layout at the front door.

Anyway, they also brought the Monopoly game with them.

Now, I rarely gamble. The times I bought Powerball tickets or scratch-off thingies can be counted on one hand. But I got sucked into this game. I dunno, must have been the allure of that $5,000 Free Groceries prize (or at least a $25 gift card) that hooked me. For the past three months I played it, collecting the stupid pieces for the board and logging on to the stupid website to check my stupid cards to see if I won anything:

I didn’t win anything, other than more free cards.

Was it a waste of time?

Well, objectively yes. Unobjectively, it’s not like I couldn’t spare the hour a week it took me to tape pieces to a board and log on to their website. And at least I know with certainty that I never held a winning ticket in my hand. I estimate roughly that I went through 400 tickets or so over the three months. Maybe more.

Me, I don’t have any luck. That’s the wife’s department. But she only wins in even years (i.e., the Military Bridge thing in 2014, the trip to Paris thing in 2012, etc.) And we’re halfway through an even year. Big things are just over the horizon, baby! Let it ride!

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