Thursday, November 29, 2018

Tattoo You



“Go ahead and get that tattoo,” I growled. “It will make you easier to identify when they come for you!”

Then I woke up.

It was the only thing I remember from my extensive epic dreams of last night.

My girls have been going through an intense Hunger Games / Maze Runner / The Giver / The Fifth Wave phase. You know, all those angsty drab-washed teen dystopia movies.

And I’ve been listening in on them watching a little too much …


[On an unrelated-except-to-the-post-title note, though I am not a big Rolling Stones fan and never was, I figured out the chords to “Start Me Up,” possibly the most personally annoying tune of all time for me, and have not been able to stop playing it on my acoustic … argh!]


Friday, November 23, 2018

How to Tell a Good Bible Version



(By “good,” I mean traditional, readable, un-silly, non-squishy…)

There are a thousand Bible versions out there, each one translated ever so in light of its own angle or purpose. How to tell a trustworthy, reliable one, especially since the English language has morphed incredibly over the past few decades, and continues to do so exponentially?

Well, a nice rule of thumb is the Vatican II rule. That is, any Bible version published after Vatican II (1962-1965) will generally be a faithful, non-squishy one.

An even more specific test is what I call the Psalm 8 test.

It’s simple. Turn to Psalm 8. Now focus on verses 4 and 5.

If you see the editors use the word “human”, “humans”, “people”, or even “a mortal,” drop it immediately and flee.

But if you see the word “man” as the predicate of those verses, then you can start to delve deeper into this version of the Good Book.

The Bible they handed out to each candidate in Little One’s Confirmation class passed this test, so I breathed a sigh of relief. At least, until I delve deeper into it.

Psalm 8.


Wednesday, November 21, 2018

A Few Movie Minis



Saw a bunch of decent movies in the short span of a week. Surprisingly, I enjoyed them all, and I’d like to recommend them to you, especially the last.

The wife and I had our annual date night and went to see Bohemian Rhapsody after dinner and drinks. Now, I was a huge Queen fan from about 1989-1991. Bought all the classic CDs. Jammed along on my Les Paul with them. Played “Tie Your Mother Down” when rehearsing with my band. I especially liked Queen II (pretty much every song), though I also wore out Night at the Opera, Jazz, The Game, and Flash Gordon. So when, curiously enough, the Mrs. suggested we go see it, I was not opposed.

If you’re a Queen fan, I’d give it a solid A. If not, then a solid B. It was definitely written to make the surviving members look good. The actor portraying Freddie Mercury did a spot-on impression. If they gave out Oscars for such a thing, he’d beat out what’s-his-face doing the Dick Cheney. The movie slickly illuminated the mythos of the band, from their formation to their heyday to their electrifying Live Aid performance. The gay stuff was a little creepy, but wasn’t as in-your-face as I expected it to be given the culture climate today, though I wouldn’t recommend anyone under 14 or so seeing it. As a fan I always overlooked that aspect of Freddie, of whom I’ve written about in these electronic pages as perhaps the greatest rock vocalist of all time.

Later in the week my buddy dragged me out to see Overlord. I had only seen the commercials – World War II, Nazis, zombies (the super-aggressive type on angel dust), haunted castle, something hanging in a placenta – ewww. But I do dig the occasional horror flick, and he said it was getting good reviews. When you take the horror and toss in war and possible science fiction, I’m interested.

Turns out it was a pretty decent film. Started off all black-and-white newsreel, then went right to a pre-D-Day air drop that puts you right in the aircraft. Very edge of your seat, very effective. The survivors regroup, tasked to take out a tower before the Allied invasion in 12 hours … but the Nazis have been up to no good in the catacombs beneath the quaint little French village church. Evil, in fact, un-natural evil. A lot of it devolves to mindless punchy violence and the zombie element could have been a little more etched out, but it was nonetheless a real effective atmospheric thriller. I’d give it an A-minus.

Ah, the best for last. The wife and I rented The Walk, an unheard-of 2015 movie based on Philippe Petit’s illegal tightrope walk across the nearly-completed World Trade Center towers in August of 1974. A few years back I was over-awed watching the documentary of the feat, and wrote about it, here. This is the movie version. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is absolutely perfect as the tightrope walker. The performances are riveting. The special effects are absolutely, a thousand-percent amazing. You’d believe the towers were still standing. I had a lump in my throat for the final half-hour as Petit attains Nirvana above the void, and I defy anyone not to shed a tear during the film’s final sentence and fade-out. See it, see it, see it. Absolute perfection; grade A+.

Now, if only I can find some literature as good in my final weeks before tax season …


Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Friday, November 9, 2018

People I Never Want Calling Me "Bro"



My children:

“Bro, can I have a play date with Amanda?”


My mom:

“Hi, bro, just want to know if your family is still coming for Thanksgiving.”


My pastor:

“To get to heaven, bro, you must take up your cross and follow Him.”


My vet:

“Sorry, bro, it might be best to euthanize your daughter’s hamster.”


My realtor:

“Bro, we can easily get $400k for your home!”


My banker:

“Now is the most opportune time to refinance, bro.”


My doctor:

“Bro, it’s cancer.”


And don’t get me started on “brah” …


Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Get Ready for Two Straight Years Of






Again, I would be absolutely delighted to have anyone of the progressive persuasion answer even just one of these ten policyquestions of mine I’ve posted over the years.


Friday, November 2, 2018

Product of Environment



“I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.”

– fictional Boston mob boss Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson), opening lines of narration of the 2006 movie The Departed, based in part on a recently-deceased actual Boston mob boss.

Me, I have a more ambivalent relationship with my environment. I pretend not to notice it, and it pretends not to notice me.