10 Things to Do Besides Watch the NFL

So it looks like the gridiron fools are at it again – kneeling and raising fists ostensibly in support of racial justice – whatever that is, it’s never explicitly defined and defended – but really to give the middle finger to President Trump, not realizing (or caring) they’re also hurling a big F-You to the half of America who either voted for him and/or now support him. You know, something like 80 percent of the NFL’s fan base.

I haven’t watched since some point near the beginning of the 2016 season, and I didn’t watch any of the 2017 season – not even the Super Bowl. After initial withdrawal symptoms not unlike quitting smoking, I didn’t miss it at all. So my boycott will continue, although now it’s actually not even a boycott. I just have no urge to watch.

For those who still do, however, I would like to humbly offer 10 things to do instead of watch football this fall and winter.

1) Lift Weights.

Too busy to work out? Too busy to get stronger, physically and mentally? Well, now you can have anywhere from three to twelve hours free on a Sunday, depending on your old NFL habits. When I’m lifting (and I’m an off-again, on-again, currently off-again amateur lifter), I like to do three sets on a Sunday. My two workouts during the week are two sets, one for max reps and one for going up in weight. But on Sundays, there’s no rush to get through a workout.

2) Sharpen a Work Skill.

A novel thought, at least to me, that occurred once I had a family – down time does not have to be spent in wasteful (and often self-destructive) leisure. You can actually do something that improves your money earning potential. I got the tax thing going on, where I have all these new laws and regulations to study to help you all pay Uncle Sam, but surely you have something you can do – even for just three hours out of a sixty-hour weekend – that would help your earnings potential, no?

3) Read Military History.

Football is basically a substitute for war. It’s martial by nature, a civilized form of battle. Why not study the real thing? I’ve found the Civil War and World War II endlessly fascinating, from a birds-eye view of strategy and tactics, logistics, equipment and personnel. A terrible thing it truly is, and like all terrible things, I think we benefit from a close study of it.

4) Hang Out With That Neglected Buddy.

One of my buddies has not a shred of interest in football. It’s almost eerie and off-putting hanging with someone, especially on a Sunday, who cares little about the local team – who doesn’t even know who the quarterback is – nor gives a rat’s behind about the Super Bowl. But it’s not eerie and off-putting, it’s actually kind of normal. Be that guy, and hang out with those types of guys.

5) Run / Jog / Walk / Bike / Move.

Anything. Just get off the couch. Put the beer down; drink it instead later before dinner, as a reward for your exertion. When I think of all the beer I drank in relation to the NFL, I think of a football field littered with the fossilized remains of tens of thousands of aluminum cans strewn round pyramids of rusted kegs. Oh my poor heart! I think I’ll go for a two-mile walk now.

6) Read Something Incredibly Challenging and Focus-Demanding.

For many years I’ve had Being and Time by Martin Heidegger and The Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant sitting in my basement. These cinderblock odes to dense and possibly useless theoretical frameworks of reality mock me several times a week; at least when I’m in the basement doing laundry. Anyway, one day I vowed that one day I would read them, cover to cover, and understand them. Conquer them, so to speak. It may be the largest waste of time for a simple man as myself, but the possibility that it would be the most important waste of time keeps me from tossing them in the trash. Heidegger! Kant! Thanks to Kaepernick and Goodell, you’re now on notice!

7) Throw a Football with Your Little Ones.

Yeah, it’s flirting with danger. Like a dude celebrating his 30-day A.A. chip by drinking a soda in a bar. But last fall me and the girls would go out in the front yard and toss that pigskin around for twenty minutes or a half-hour, and we’d have tons of fun with no frustration of watching the Giants lose. And my girls know how to throw a football! Only problem is that now my front yard is too small, with their arms. Have to go down the street now to the park.

8) Watch Rugby.

Last December I stumbled across a rugby game, and couldn’t change the channel. I was fascinated. Riveted. All the cardiac agility of soccer with the barbaric physicality of football. I watched for a full hour and still don’t know how it’s played, but I want to know. I heard rumor of a national rugby league starting up, and that’s piqued my interest. One night a few months ago I youtubed a bunch of games, but I still haven’t dedicated the time and effort to figure out exactly what this sport is. Wait, I know what it is – a potential replacement for the social justice driven NFL!

9) Watch Baseball then Switch to Hockey.

Baseball season now ends sometime in late October (possibly even early November). Hockey starts October 3 and lasts until Spring. There you go! Football season’s covered! My basic cable setup has a half-dozen channels that cover these sports. There’s always a baseball game or a hockey game on at night or on weekend afternoons. It’s probably the first baby step someone who’s heavily addicted to the No Fans Left league should take. I took it last year, and though the hockey bug didn’t bite me, the baseball bug did and also bit Little One as well, who now box scores every Yankee game.

10) Heck, Even Watch Soccer if you Need a Sports Fix.

As a last ditch alternative … J