Revelation

  

As part of one of my New Year’s resolutions, I joined a bible study group at my church.

 

Four studies were offered: The Mass, The Timeline of the Church, Mary, and The Book of Revelation. Which do you think I chose? Your humble author, devourer of science fiction and weird esoterica such as Nostradamus, and aficionado of historical mysteries? That’s right; I signed up to do a deep dive into the Apocalypse.

 

We meet on Monday nights from 7 to 9. So far I attended two sessions. We’re working with a study guide published by Ascension Press. The classes start with an hour reviewing the questions from the workbook out loud; these vary from simple listings of the various items we read in the current chapter to speculation on what God is speaking to us through them. Then we watch an hourlong recorded presentation by the author of the study workbook. It covers not only the text of the Book of Revelation, but the historical, cultural, biblical, and spiritual context of the themes we encounter. There are about 25 of us in the group, one-third men and two-thirds women, ranging in age from mid-30s to one in her late 80s. I’m about the median age. So far I’ve found it warm, welcoming, and extremely interesting and informative. I expect to be an expert in the final book of the New Testament when the study ends in ten weeks.

 

In the days leading up to the first class I felt a little weird. The last college course I took was nearly thirty years ago. Apart from a few classes for my IT certifications around the turn-of-the-century and my eight-week H&R Block tax preparer course in 2016, this is my first foray into formalized group learning in a long while. I must admit, auto-didact I claim to be, there’s nothing like a group setting to hold one’s feet to the fire. Plus, I am learning from my classmates. All are nice people, all are the sort of Catholics who put their faith into practice, so I quickly overcame any nerves midway through the first session.

 

Already I am loaded with stats and trivia. But I am wondering whether I would share that here or, if so, how much and what exactly? While recapping every session might be overkill, I think I’ll post some “highlights” midway through and an evaluation when it finishes at the end of March. And maybe some odd or inspiring things I come across here and there. There is a “homework heavy” aspect to the preparation before a sessions (15-20 minutes daily), so I don’t want to burn myself out. I am, after all, still reading other non-religious books voraciously, as well as working and parenting full time, walking as much as possible, etc.

 

I’ll have to give it some thought. But I’ll definitely post something, and continue to write and publish here when the spirit moves me.

 

Happy (End Times) readings!

 

Merry Christmas Eve!

 

Going to midnight mass in a few hours with the Mrs, the girls, and Little One’s boyfriend. Then, blessed sleep after a hurried busyness of holiday tasks. Tomorrow we’ll get up when we get up, have some coffee and tea and cake, and leisurely open up the gifts that somehow popped up under the Christmas tree this afternoon.

 

May the peace of Christ be with you all!

 

Truth

 

Charlie Kirk

 

June is Devoted to the Sacred Heart of Christ

 

The Litany of the Sacred Heart

Lord, have mercy on us.

Christ, have mercy on us.

Lord, have mercy on us.

Christ, hear us.

Christ, graciously hear us.

God the Father of Heaven,

Have mercy on us.

God the Son, Redeemer of the world,

Have mercy on us.

God the Holy Spirit,

Have mercy on us.

Holy Trinity, one God,

Have mercy on us.

 

Heart of Jesus, Son of the Eternal Father,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Formed by the Holy Ghost in the womb of the Virgin Mother,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Substantially united to the Word of God,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Of Infinite Majesty,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Holy Temple of God,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Tabernacle of the Most High,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, House of God and Gate of Heaven,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Burning Furnace of charity,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Vessel of Justice and love,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Full of goodness and love,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Abyss of all virtues,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Most worthy of all praises,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, King and center of all hearts,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, In Whom are all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, In Whom dwelleth all the fulness of the Divinity,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, in Whom the Father is well pleased,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Of Whose fullness we have all received,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Desire of the everlasting hills,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Patient and abounding in mercy,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Rich unto all who call upon Thee,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Fountain of life and holiness,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Atonement for our sins,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Filled with reproaches,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Bruised for our offenses,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Made obedient unto death,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Pierced with a lance,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Source of all consolation,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Our Life and Resurrection,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Our Peace and Reconciliation,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Victim for our sins,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Salvation of those who hope in Thee,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Hope of those who die in Thee,

Have mercy on us.

Heart of Jesus, Delight of all the Saints,

Have mercy on us.

 

Lamb of God Who takest away the sins of the world,

Spare us, O Lord.

Lamb of God Who takest away the sins of the world,

Graciously hear us, O Lord.

Lamb of God Who takest away the sins of the world,

Have mercy on us.

Jesus, meek and humble of heart,

Make our hearts like unto Thine.

 

Let us pray.

 

Almighty and eternal God, look upon the Heart of Thine most-beloved Son, and upon the praises and satisfaction He offers Thee in the name of sinners; and appeased by worthy homage, pardon those who implore Thy mercy, in Thy Great Goodness in the name of the same Jesus Christ Thy Son, Who liveth and reigneth with Thee, in the unity of the Holy Ghost, world without end. Amen.

Pope Leo XIV

  

Well, that was completely unexpected.

 

We have the first American-born Pope, though he holds duel citizenship with Peru, where he spent a large amount of his time. Didn’t know anything about him, though I did hear his name come up (negatively) in a podcast I listened to last week.

 

Last night I listened to half-a-dozen “hot takes” on the new Pope, formerly Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost, age 69. He does have a Bachelor of Science degree in mathematics from Villanova, which is a personal plus for me. Indicative of a logical, rational mind as opposed to a touchy-feely emotional one. However, he does hail from Chicago, which has been under the thumb of the extremely liberal Cardinal Cupich for the last 11 years. He was also appointed to head the Dicastery for Bishops (which recommends priests to the Pope for bishop positions) and has had a close relationship with Francis over the past 18 months. Though I have heard credible reports that they did not see eye-to-eye on every issue and Prevost was not afraid to make his opinion known.

 

Coming out on the balcony in the red papal regalia as well as taking the name of the extremely anti-modernist, anti-socialist Pope Leo XIII were both nice signals to the traditional minded. However, I am not unaware that such signaling might not actually telegraph actual intent, especially in this day and age where it seems most of the Church hierarchy is hell-bent on changing Catholic teaching to, er, non-Catholic teaching, in a phony spirit of “welcoming” and “dialogue.”

 

The greatest secret about your host Hopper is that he is a closet optimist. Thusly, I am hopeful Pope Leo XIV will be a pendulum swing toward normalcy from the mess that Francis made. He could start by removing restrictions on the Traditional Latin Mass. He could also quash all this “synodal church” nonsense, though he has been on record in the past as supportive of such disingenuity. At this stage, it’s impossible to guess true agendas. After all, many were fooled by Francis for the first several months of his papacy, including myself. I renounce such gullibility going forward (thanks Lavender Mafia, for poisoning our childlike faith in the Church!)

 

From what I’ve gleaned from traditional to centrist sites (I can’t suffer to hear the take of liberal Catholic podcasters and such, life is way too short and precious for that), Prevost wasn’t the worst pick (that’d be either Tagle or Parolin) nor was he the best (Sarah, Burke, or Pizzaballa). He’s somewhere in the middle, probably a little left-of-center. But the thought is that many cardinals, either suffering from Francis fatigue or realizing that Francis pushed too hard too fast on his re-imaging of Catholic teaching, opted for a man who could stabilize and possibly unite the one billion Catholics throughout the world. My gut tells me it’s the latter, that they need a man who’ll institute change slower but more securely, and that perhaps an American pope might tamper down the protest from traditional American Catholic news media. That he was elected relatively quickly (on the fourth ballot, I believe), demonstrates that he was acceptable to both types of Cardinals. We’ll see.

 

Despite being that closet optimist, my official position is one of strict neutrality. Let the man show us who he is by his actions. Until then, he has my respect and prayers due to the office he holds. May he prove me wrong and be truly worthy of the Leo namesake.

An SF Similarity

 

I was thinking a bit about yesterday’s post regarding the stagnant state of silver screen science fiction in 2025. From what I’ve heard and read, there’s a slow recognition from Hollywood that the excesses of the past decade or so need to be curtailed in order to make a profit. Dial back on the DEI, the wokeness, the girl bosses, the Mary Sues, the political and cultural agenda hidden and not-so-hidden in every movie … perhaps that would put more viewers in theater seats or at least clicking on the streaming services and watching until the end.

But do I think a true change of heart is at hand? A return to the golden years of the 80s and 90s for science fiction action flicks?

No. Not really.

The phenomenon parallels nicely with the 2025 papal conclave set to commence on May 7. In that case, a lot of Catholics – in fact, a “silent majority” I would contend – are kinda frustrated with the direction Francis had guided the Church over the past dozen years. Since 2013 Francis, full of modernist ideas, had attempted to change millennia of Church teaching to varying degrees and varying successes, through the use of papal documents containing potentially heretical ideas, off-the-cuff airplane interviews where ideas contrary to the Faith were uttered, and suppression of traditional catholic orders, priests, and bishops.

So I think Hollywood has about the same chance of righting its course as does the Catholic Church. Dark times ahead, but I’d love to be proved wrong. Time will tell, I suppose.

* * * * * * *

But if the film studios do in fact toss out their enforced and often unpalatable agendas, may I offer a suggestion?

Mine the works of Robert Silverberg. And in doing so, be faithful to his stories and characters.

In 2017 I read a half-dozen Silverberg novels, and perhaps another half-dozen in the years before, going way back to my childhood. His tales age well. The characters all have fascinating backstories and dialogue is natural in revealing innermost thoughts and advancing the plot. There’s always a compelling science fiction-y dilemma, and a pinch of existential horror tossed in. I can honestly say I’ve never read a bad Robert Silverberg story.

Not sure what he’s up to now, at age 90, but he’s said to have retired from writing in 2015. His last published novel was in 2003, and the following year he was voted a Science Fiction Grandmaster by the Science Fiction Writers Association. He first was published in 1955, so there are 60 years of material for screenwriters to peruse – over 500 works. Perhaps they have reached out and he’s rejected every offer. Couldn’t and wouldn’t blame him. But what a treat it would be to a fan of legitimate SF if one of his novels made it to the big screen in a faithful adaptation.

 

Here are seven reviews of Robert Silverberg novels, for those who may be interested:

 

Downward to the Earth (1970)

“… an SF-stylized take on Kipling … a ‘snake milking station’ … a deranged yet undoubtedly charismatic man named Kurtz (enjoyed the reference!)”

 

Kingdoms of the Wall (1992)

“… some interesting speculative dialogue, bits of horror, neat confrontational characterization, even an M. Night Shyamalan twist towards the ending …”

 

Lord Valentine’s Castle (1980)

“… this is going to sound a bit loopy, but – I think I just spent a year on another planet …”

 

The Majipoor Chronicles (1982)

“Majipoor truly comes alive – and it is a wonderful world. Dangerous, yes, amoral, often, but so lifelike and real, more real to me than, say, Australia or China or the African continent.”

The Book of Skulls (1971)

“What would you do, see, study, experience, master, if you would live forever without having to taste death?”

 

Tom O’Bedlam (1985)

“… something very strange begins to happen. It starts with Tom – dreams of distant worlds, lush green worlds, worlds with multiple suns in the skies, then dreams of the inhabitants of these worlds, ‘eye’ creatures, ‘crystalline’ creatures, horned giants and flying ethereal things …”

 

Nightwings (1969)

“… translucent bodies soaring in the twilit skies … fortune-tellers who foretell the present … starstones to decipher the will of the Will … and a man with his back to the wall who sells out mankind …”

 

Bonus recommended books (but not reviewed on the Hopper):

   The Face of the Waters (1991)

   Conquerors from the Darkness (1965)

   At Winter’s End (1988)

   The New Springtime (1990)

   Planet of Death (1967)

   A Time of Changes (1971)

Pope Hopper

 

I have been following the pre-conclave musings on the internet and the various traditional-leaning Catholic sites I regularly visit on the internet. For people minded-like to me in their religious views, there seems to be, at this very early stage in the selection of a Pope, equal measures of hope and dread. As of this point I have no idea what might happen, of who will be steering the Catholic Church in at least the near future, and that’s basically the boat we’re all in right now.

 

Here's a neat website that lists all the forty or so cardinal “candidates” for Pope:

 

https://collegeofcardinalsreport.com/

 

If you click on the link at the top, “Where They Stand” you get a concise breakdown on the positions these cardinals take on ten major issues of the day, such as ordaining female deacons, blessing same-sex couples, focusing on climate change, and promoting a “synodal church,” whatever that means, among others. It’s helpful if this interests you as you’ll probably hear meany of these names in the upcoming weeks.

 

What a great tool, as something like this has never been available in one place, sourced, for both laity and clergy alike.

 

Also, I have heard this conclave may take longer than average. We may not have a Pope until June. The reasons vary, but among the most convincing seems to me to range from the mundane (since Francis lived in the Casa Santa Marte, normally a Vatican guest house, there is no place for cardinals to stay and the shuffle is on to find hotel accommodations for 250 men) to the fact that Francis promoted many “from the peripheries”, i.e. South America, the Philippines, etc., that many cardinals do not know each other. So there will be a period of “getting-to-know-you” before the actual papal maneuverings begin.

 

As I typed the prior post on Monday, the thought of what would Hopper do if he was elected Pope? ran through my head. Hey, theoretically it’s possible I could be elected Pope. I’m a baptized male Catholic. However, for at least the past six or seven centuries the Pope has been a Cardinal, of which I am not. Still, though, what would I do if it was I who steered this barque of Peter?

 

I’ve written about it before. But here would be my plan, in no particular order but as fast as I could (or that Vatican machinery would allow me, provided I survive the poisoning attempts …)

 

- Suppress the Jesuit Order.

- Rescind Amoris Laetitia (Francis’s giving the OK for divorced and remarried Catholics to receive communion, citing himself in many footnotes).

- Rescind Fiducia supplicans (Francis’s giving OK to the blessing of same-sex couples).

- Lift the ban on the Traditional Latin Mass.

- Permanently banish Father Rupnik and allow criminal prosecution for his crimes and remove all his creepy artwork from any and all Church buildings.

- Remove Father James Martin from any position of influence.

- Undue the “agreements” with China which allow the Chinese communist government approval of cardinals from that country.

- Promulgate an encyclical, updated for the times, against the heresy of modernism, which touches EVERY aspect of Church, culture, and politics, including coining a better term for the heresy.

- Stop this false sense of humility. Return a sense of grandeur to the Church, and end this unnecessary antagonism to 2,000 years of tradition.

- End this “synodality” nonsense. No one knows what it means. Many suspect it means top-down tinkering with the Church disguised as a grass-roots movement. Many suspect it means further weakening the Church by undercutting centuries of teaching, dating back to prior popes, Fathers of the Church, the Apostles and Christ Himself.

 

There. That’s ten action items I’d address within the first months of my papacy.

 

My motto, inscribed upon my papal coat of arms, would be: “Challenge the world instead of compromising with the world.”  Provocare mundum pro compromissum cum mundo (if Google translate is to be trusted).

 

My hope is the next Pope will have a tenth of my bullishness (and a tenth is about all he probably could show if he wants to, er, survive his pontificate). The Church, and the World, is such a mess …

 

The Search for a Pope Begins

 

So I just woke up to the news that Francis died earlier today. The search for a new Pope begins, if indeed it has not already been going on for some time.

 

I pray that the world receives a strong, faithful man. In these evil and confused times we need a strong, faithful man to lead the Church. Not one who will water down Catholic teaching, will sacrifice Truth in the service of a cheap Mercy, will speak one thing and do its opposite. We need a valiant defender of the Truths set forth in the teachings and example of Jesus Christ, and those revealed by the Holy Spirit to the Church, the mystical body of Christ, these past twenty centuries.

 

Unfortunately, from what I’ve read (and it seems sadly logical to me), the influence of McCarrick is everywhere in the Vatican and the College of Cardinals. Francis did appoint 163 cardinals during his twelve-year reign, out of 252, or just under two-thirds of its current membership. These are the men who will select the next ruler of the Church, and again unfortunately, it seems likely each would be of similar mind to Francis’s and hold similar beliefs. However, their decisions are guided by the Holy Spirit, so our prayers for a holy leader should continue every day until the white smoke is released from the Vatican chimneys.

 

O God, eternal shepherd,

Who governs Your flock with unfailing care,

Grant in Your boundless fatherly love

A pastor for Your Church

Who will please You by his holiness

And to us show watchful care.

Through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son,

Who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit,

God, for ever and ever.

Amen.

 

(Personal note: The upcoming papal election will result in the sixth Pope during my lifetime, though I only remember four: John Paul I, John Paul II, Benedict, and Francis. I was too young to remember Paul VI. The only thing I remember of the first John Paul, who reigned a mere 33 days, was my father’s comment, “Well, I guess God wasn’t too happy with him.” But six popes … boy and I getting old …)

 

Happy Easter!

 

Holy Thursday into Good Friday

 

Re-reading Multiple Re-reads

  

So after reflecting on the previous post over the weekend, I realized I left out a very major book, one that has played an important and essential role in my life.

 

I studied this book in high school for two years, though I never read it cover to cover. That had to wait until 1992.

 

Then, during the scary first weeks of the Wu Flu in 2020, I re-read it again in its entirety, though not in sequential order of its parts.

 

In between I read various sections of it literally dozens of times.

 

I’ve read books about this book.

 

I’ve listened to people lecture about this book.

 

I’ve bought at least six or seven different copies of this book.

 

Care to guess what this book is?

 

Yep. The Bible.

 

I received my first Bible, technically the New Testament, a pocket-version, when I received my first Holy Communion while still in the single digits. I still have that Bible, though its spine is cracked and the pages yellowed with age. I attended a top Catholic High School in the ’80s, and during freshman year we went through the Old Testament, reading selections, memorizing important verses, bullet points, biographies, lists, and chronologies, and did the same thing with the New Testament sophomore year.

 

Then, hedonism interrupted and dominated my life for seven years, and the only time I picked up a Bible was when me and a friend were doing something with my Tascam 4-track recorder and we wanted that verse about “legion”, probably to insert with distorted vocals backwards over some dopey riffs. When I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, I quit all my vices, read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, and had a spiritual awakening.

 

That was with the simplistic TEV (Today’s English Version) Bible. I still have a soft spot for it, especially all those line drawings. But I moved on to different versions in my re-reads: the King James, the Douay-Rheims, a Protestant “Men’s Devotional”, an Anselm study Bible, and the Revised Catholic Edition. Theology aside, my favorite has to be the King James (and I know that that, too, is “protestant”). Simply and absolutely love the poetic majesty, the archaic grandeur, all those “ye”s, “thy”s, “thine”s and “thou”s.

 

Now aside from my two complete readings of the Bible in its entirety in 1992 and 2020 and a complete reading of the New Testament later, I’ve read many, many books of the Bible many, many times. Unfortunately, I haven’t really kept track until recently. But my best estimated guess is that the books of the Bible I’ve read and re-read the most are:

 

   Genesis – 7 times

   Exodus – 4 times

   Proverbs – 3 times

   Psalms – 3 times

   Revelation – 3 times

   The Gospels – at least 3 times each but probably not more than 7 times.

 

Why have I read Genesis the most? Simple. Every couple of years I get the itch to re-read the Bible in its entirety, and more often than not, I make it past this first book and not much further.

 

Now, a clarifying word. I write this not to brag or “humblebrag” (though probably there’s a bit of that here, to be honest). I’d like you to read the Bible, too. Many times. It’s never too early and it’s never too late. Read it, ruminate on it, think upon it, come to it with an open mind, a questioning-in-faith mind, a hopeful mind. It will speak to you. Somehow, in some way, often unexpected and often delayed, it does. I wholeheartedly encourage you to pick it up.

 

But here’s the tricky part. There are so many translations, you have to pick one that resonates with you. Not all of us like those thous and thines. I do. You may not. You may enjoy the TEV version (and my derogatory term “simplistic” should not deter anyone from it; the TEV was the version that led to my reversion). Test drive a couple of versions before you pick one to stick with. You could visit the local library to borrow different translations (I did), buy from inexpensive used book stores (I did), or go online to sample different translations (I did). Biblegateway.com is a great resource.

 

And start small. I would not advise a Genesis-to-Revelation approach unless – and it’s a big unless – unless you are into reading grand visions and scopes of epic proportion. It is a marathon and not a sprint. But I enjoy sweeping epics and being immersed in different literary cultures (hence my love of Tolkien and other fantasy and science fiction trilogies and such). I found that when starting with Genesis, the whole thing gradually and then quickly built up, like an avalanche, rolled forward with more power and might – to the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Christ. I felt that sense of purpose unfold in the chronologic words of the Bible.

 

But if you want to start small, to “test the waters,” start with the Gospels, then move on to the shorter Pauline letters. As for the order of Gospels, Mark is the shortest, Matthew and Luke and about the same length (but Matthew is aimed toward a Jewish audience whereas Luke is aimed towards the gentiles). John is shorter than both, but heavy with theology. Save Revelation for much later. Then hit the Old Testament. Genesis, Exodus up to the Ten Commandments. Then the Psalms. Then get a sense of history and read Joshua, the Samuels, Kings, and Chronicles. Isaiah should be in there once you get your footing. Let the Spirit lead you on from that.

Please heed my advice. And if you do – happy reading!!

Synchronicity or Syzygy?

 

“God teaches the soul by pains and obstacles, not by ideas.” – Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, Abandonment to Divine Providence

 

“What stands in the way becomes the way.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

 

S = ∫ (t1 to t2) L dt

 

Measured in joules / second, or accomplishments per unit of life.

 

Life 2024

 

“You must not abandon the ship in a storm because you cannot control the winds … What you cannot turn to good, you must at least make as little bad as you can.”

– St. Thomas More

Happy Easter!

 

I want to wish a Happy Easter to all my family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and co-workers, even the 10 to 20 people who anonymously visit here every day!

Often I feel weighed down by life, by circumstances, by choices made and not made, but today I feel wonderful and I wish that wonderful part on all of you!

More details to follow tomorrow or Tuesday, a recap and / or some thoughts and some updates

Christ is King

 

Single Focused Mind

 

“We have seldom an opportunity of observing, either in active or speculative life, what effect may be produced, or what obstacles may be surmounted, by the force of a single mind, when it is inflexibly applied to the pursuit of a single object.”

 

Neat, really neat sentence from Chapter 21 of The History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (page 316 in my Great Books of the Western World volume). I have thought this thought many times throughout my life, even wrote about it here in these electronic pages: What could I do with a hundred such men under my command? (Click on the link for the answer.)

 

And as applied to myself? Good Lord, I wanted to do too much that the force of this single mind became too diluted – write a paradigm-changing novel, discover the basic building block of the basic building blocks of matter (I still think it has something to do with the photon), re-write or re-discover history, compose something that will last long past I’ve lived, and on, and on, and on.

 

Still, though, the thought itself and the ideas behind it resonate very strongly and clearly with me on an almost daily basis. Nice and neat to see it in Gibbon’s 1781 work.

 

N.B. The mind in question regarding Gibbon’s quoted remark is Athanasius of Alexandria, a fourth century Christian theologian and Church Father noted for his tireless efforts to defeat Arianism. Perhaps later this week I’ll post a “workman’s guide to Christian heresies” regarding Arianism and Donatism, as I am somewhat hazy on the terms …

 

Persecutions

 

“They died in torments, and their torments were embittered by insult and derision. Some were nailed on crosses; others sewn up in the skins of wild beasts, and exposed to the fury of dogs; others again, smeared over with combustible materials, were used as torches to illuminate the darkness of night. The gardens of Nero were destined for the melancholy spectacle, which was accompanied with a horse-race, and honored with the presence of the emperor, who mingled with the populace in the dress and attitude of a charioteer. The guilt [sic] of the Christians deserved indeed the most exemplary punishment, but the public abhorrence was changed into commiseration, from the opinion that those unhappy wretches were sacrificed, not so much to the public welfare as to the cruelty of a jealous tyrant.”

   - Tacitus, quoted by Edward Gibbon in The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, chapter sixteen.

 

“[sic]” addition mine.

 

Just finished Volume I of Gibbon’s great work, the first fifteen chapters detailing the reigns of Aurelius to Constantine, roughly 180 to 310 AD. Volume II starts off with a grim and powerful exploration of why the Empire, famous for its tolerance of religious polytheism, persecuted the Christians in waves of vicious bloodshed. Tough read for me, and I am detecting a slightly-more-than-slight anti-Christian bias in Gibbon that I had been warned about. Still, faults and all, productive reading. Learning much about an Empire that reached the peaks of splendor with frequent descents into valleys of madness, often at the whim of the personality of the man in charge.

3:15

 

As alluded to in an earlier post this month, I wake up every night at 3:15 a.m.

 

So did George Lutz of The Amityville Horror fame – or, rather, infamy!

 

So do many experiencing attacks of the demonic or spiritual crises, as a quick Google search will tell you.

 

As for me, well … I kinda agree, hate to say.

 

Now, I don’t always awaken at 3:15. Maybe every ten days I will wake up at 3:15 on the dot. I see it on the microwave I pass as I make my way in the darkness to the bathroom. And let me tell you, I almost know it’s going to display 3:15 before I get there, and when my suspicion in confirmed, I can’t tell you how eerie it is. Goose-bump eerie. If it happens to you, you know. If not, I can’t convey it in words adequately enough.

 

Most of the time I awake around 3:15. Sometimes I come very close – 3:12, 3:20, 3:08. This morning I woke at 3:40. And it doesn’t matter when I fall asleep. Normally I go to bed around 11:30. On the weekends I go to bed later, midnight or 1 a.m. not being uncommon. Last night I was exhausted from a tough work week and some insomnia and went to bed at 10:15. But no matter when I go to sleep, I wake up near or at 3:15, invariably. Only two or three times a month, at best, do I not wake up at the witching hour.

 

Because that’s what it’s called. The witching hour. The dead hour of night when witches covens are most active and dark spells suffuse through the chilly black air on their evil errands. The hour diametrically opposed to the death of Jesus on the Cross, traditionally held to have happened at 3 in the afternoon, the hour when salvation came to mankind. Evil naturally gravitates, accelerates and accentuates its designs at the hour 180 degrees from God’s saving work in history.

 

Perhaps there could be a more mundane explanation. Long ago I’ve read about the “reticular activating system” in our minds – when we learn something or are pointed towards something, we begin to start noticing that something more often. The best example I heard is if you go to a auto dealership and take a fancy to a car model you’ve never seen before. Suddenly, out on the roads over the next few days and weeks, you’ll suddenly see that car model everywhere. It’s not like they haven’t been out on the roads all this time. It was never called to your attention so you never noticed it.

 

Perhaps it has something to do with that. You hear some creepy weird things about 3:15 a.m. You wake up one random night at 3:15 a.m. and remember that spooky thing you heard about it. Then it happens again next month. Then, sooner. And now you’re a 3:15 a.m. junkie like me, getting your fix every night.

 

Something similar happened to me when I was young. I was fascinated with the time 11:11, and would point it out to anyone within earshot when I caught it on the digital clock. Pretty soon every time I look I see 11:11. Later, as an adult, I would see 9:17 on the clock – my birthday – and tease my little ones, especially Patch, whose birthday is September16. Now it seems every time I see a clock on my phone or laptop or on the microwave, if it’s morning or evening, it will show 9:17.

 

What to do?

 

Well, I’ve read some accounts by individuals afflicted with this odd phenomenon. The “spiritual crisis” thing resonates cuz, well, I’ve been undergoing one of varying magnitudes for most of my adult life. Sure, I’m about 90 percent in the traditional Roman Catholic camp, after many years reading, thinking, puzzling out and experiencing, but I still have the urge to explore. Be it philosophy, Eastern religions, or different shades of Christianity, I seem to never feel safely secure in my traditional Roman Catholic camp. Yeah, it might have something to do with that idiot Pope we’re saddled with. Or maybe it’s my habitual sins I’ve struggled with and can never shake. Or maybe it’s a lack of personal supernatural confirmation from the “out there.” I dunno. But I think this 3:15 thing might be a signal to me.

 

What I try to do is follow some advice I read. Specifically, when I find myself up at that hour of the early morning, I say the St. Michael Prayer:

 

St. Michael the Archangel

Defend us in battle

Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him we humbly pray

And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host

By the power of God

Cast into hell Satan and the evil spirits

Who prowl about the world

Seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

 

And if I can’t remember that or am too befuddled with sleep to get through it, I mutter a Hail Mary under my breath, return to my warm cozy bed, and fall back into my dreams and the darkness.

Wilfred the Indian

 

The girls and I just finished running some errands a few Saturdays ago – library, dry cleaners, supermarket, and take-home lunch to eat together watching some shlocky TV – when the doorbell rang. I had some delicious wings all primed to go and was changing into some comfy clothes when the one of the girls yelled, “Dad, there’s someone at the front door. I think it’s a neighbor.”

OK, I thought, wondering why they didn’t address whatever was going on. I peeked out the window, saw one man standing on my porch, and went outside.

“Hello,” the man said. “May I pray with you?”

Uh-oh.

I immediately flashed back to early April. Little One and I drove into town to visit a PC repair shop in search of any hope for my malfunctioning laptop. Parking was tough so I found a spot a few blocks down and we hoofed it over. We passed a Baptist church, which had a dozen members milling about outside, some holding a huge banner, others handing out free donuts in their parking lot.

We were assaulted in a hail of requests to pray for us or for us to pray with them. One thing about Christians down South, they are persistent. I’ve lived the vast majority of my life as a Catholic in the northeast US, where religion is kept firmly indoors solely between close friends and relatives. So I was somewhat unused to the head-on guns-blazing proselytization so common below the Mason Dixon line.

Plus it’s a touchy-feely culture down here, and I don’t like to touch other people’s sweaty hands.

Back to my front porch, and the prayerful man on it.

He introduced himself as Wilfred. He lives about four blocks away and first moved into the neighborhood twenty years ago when the vast surroundings were wild and untamed. Apparently he spends his Saturdays walking the streets ringing random doorbells and, uh, asking people to pray with him.

My guard perked up immediately. I was in no mood for a discussion about personal relationships with Jesus, especially how such a relationship is viewed quite differently in Catholic life as opposed to the Protestant view. While I approach my salvation with Kierkegaardian fear and trembling, I am relatively secure in it, and I go to confession on average every two months. I was in no mood to be steamrollered or sparred with.

To my pleasant surprise, Wilfred did neither. Instead, we had a quite pleasant discussion about what brought us to (or back to) the faith. He told me of his younger life in India. Married with a successful business. Then he got involved in drugs, his marriage failed, his business tanked. In an attempt to kill himself he overdosed but someone found him and brought him to a hospital. In the emergency room, he said matter-of-factly, he heard clearly and distinctly the voice of Jesus Christ commanding him to change his life. Then he lapsed into a coma for several days. At one point he came out and announced to the attending doctors and nurses that they were each individually saved, though he has no memory of this. Eventually he left the hospital and gave his life to Christ, and found his way to Texas, USA.

We chatted for about twenty minutes. I mentioned how my hospital stay nearly fifteen years ago fueled my return. Denominations were discussed where I stated my firm beliefs in the teaching, if not the governance, of the Catholic Church. He emphasized he was currently non-denominational – all and everything focused solely on Jesus – but initially he started out as a Methodist on the other side of the globe. We wrapped up talking about the pros and cons of Texas and our children.

My buffalo wings were getting cold. I told him I enjoyed the conversation, shook his hand wishing him good luck, and told him to stop by next time he found himself back on my block.

But we never prayed together, I realized later that day, thinking back on his initial request. Which is okay, because now I pray for Wilfred every night.