T-Shirt Gods Revisited

A while back I posted on some t-shirts that I wouldn't mind having in my 2008 collection. Since 2008 is nearly half over and I haven't gotten those ones that I asked for, I'd like to suggest to the gods a few more that have been gestating between my ears for a while.

First of all, what t-shirt collection is complete without this -

Yes, that's right ladies, it's Maxwell's Equations. But since I don't need a chick magnet (only because I'm married), I'd wear a shirt with these equations proudly as a reminder of the human intellect. Yes, a man figgered out a hundred-fifty years ago or so that electricity and magnetism are actually the same force manifesting in our world in different ways. A t-shirt that functions as a tribute!

If that's a bit too heady (read: nerdy), then how about this -

You got it! It's Patrick Star, Spongebob's best friend, and an echinoderm I'm well acquainted with thanks to my three-year old daughter. She may prefer Squidward, but to me, Patrick's the best part of the show. He answers the question: can a cartoon character make an overstressed, underpaid forty-year-old man laugh?

Next, to piss off our left-of-center friends, and to make a rare political statement (I hate politics with a passion), we have this simple number -

I first saw this a year or two into the Iraq War, and it's found on protestwarrior's website. Initially I supported the war, but in hindsight, I now realize I was mistaken, but since we've gone in and done uprooted the only way-of-life those poor Iraqis knew, we have the responsibility to stay until it's right. So, the answer is ... I haven't a clue. But this I know: the doctrine of absolute pacifism is just asinine.

And finally, I like personalized message tees. So, again, to top off my ensemble, I’d need this line, in small dark letters, on a snappy white short-sleeve:

I don't do small talk.

It's not as antisocial as it seems at first reading. I'm not an antisocial guy. I'm just awkward in social settings, particularly ones with large groups of extroverted people. I think this would be a friendly way to convey my inner essence and allow me the freedom to escape to somewhere out of the way to read a good little book, by myself.