* Spelunking 1,000 feet below the surface of the earth
* Holding a banner over my head on stage behind a
Democrat politician
* Watching the depth gauge as the submarine I’m
observing in descends to 400 meters below sea level
* Marching in a First Deadly Sin Parade
* Cracking the doors at a Toastmasters meeting
* Being “audited” at the local Church of Scientology
in Irving
* Sharpening knives at the Culinary Institute of
America (located in beautiful San Antonio, Texas)
* At any of the seven thousand car dealerships in the
Dallas area asking the receptionist, “Can I fill out a job application?”
* Flexing and posing oiled while rocking a skimpy spedo
on stage at a bodybuilding competition
* Adjusting that aerial antenna atop the Empire State
Building, no matter how many harnesses I’m hooked into and how many zeros are on
the end of that check you’re gonna pay me
* Idling the hours away gabbin’ at the northeast water cooler at the office where I work
* Clamping a bungie cord around my leg – on anything
over an altitude of ten feet above ground
* On the dance floor flaunting my macarena / cotton-eyed joe / YMCA skillz to the crowd
Note: If I’d be likely to find you at any of
the situations mentioned above, more power to ya! It just ain’t my cup of tea!
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