Random Spiritual Musings

The Catholic philosopher Leon Bloy (French? Belgium?) once said, "There is only one tragedy in life: not to become a saint." Upon reflection, especially if you are a Catholic, you have to agree to the truth of this. After all, did not Jesus, who is God, say "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?" He is saying to us that, in the final analysis, the state of your soul is what matters the most. How often that thought (willingly) eludes us. When you die and go through that tunnel and see the Light at the end, you will not be asked, "How much money did you make during the seventy years I granted you?" Nor will you even be asked, "How much (material) did you provide for your family?" The only thing that will matter is the purity of your soul.

In everyone’s life there seem to be three distinct areas that can lead to improvement. First is one’s inner direction, ‘inner compass’ might be a better expression for it. What guides a man? Where is that man heading, what is his course? Is he God-centered, or self-centered, or even mammon-centered, sex-centered, drug-centered, or any of a thousand other ‘centers’ that are not God.

Second, what are the quality of that man’s relationships – to himself, to his loved ones, to his neighbor, to his enemy, and especially to God? I’ve read that Christianity is a religion not of rules and regulations but of relationships. The older I get, the more I see it as obvious. Chalk this up to experience, I suppose.

Last, what are a man’s daily habits? We are a complex smattering of habits, habits both of virtue and vice. Does one outweigh the other? By how much of a margin? Are we continually struggling to eliminate habitual vice and replace it with habitual virtue? If no, why not? Always a good idea to keep in the back of one’s mind: Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow and act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. How is the character, the sum of a man’s habit? And I suppose the word "soul" in Jesus’ maxim can be substituted for character. That, I believe, is what God will be very interested in at your appointed time.

One thought that weighs heavily on me is ‘to those who have been given much, much will be demanded.’ This means that I have no excuses for turning my back on sainthood, indeed, no excuses for even falling slightly short of that glorious mark. I have truly been given much, from quite unexpected sources.

Little acts of virtue help. They are little bricks placed, one by one by one, into the foundation of one’s sainthood.

You will always be tempted; sin and sinful thoughts will always rage within you. That is to be expected. What cannot be tolerated is the entertaining of such thoughts. I once read that if you find yourself holding and meditating on a particular negative thought longer than one minute, you can be said to be "dwelling" on the thought. One minute is a very long time. If you allow this to happen twenty or more times a day … how does twenty minutes of such sin stain a soul?

Am I God-centered? No. Or maybe, "yes," but with reservation. I am truly afraid to take the complete step. Is this sin of pride or disbelief in the power and goodness of the Lord? Why would He ever wish for me anything to my detriment? Yet often I am unwilling to take the full leap of faith.

How to keep the inner compass focused on the True Center all the time? Ah, that is the question, isn’t it? Spiritual reading, maybe. Read and know the Gospels. I read a lot of junk compared to what I should be spending valuable time on. Other works, such as the Imitation and the Introduction, should also be memorized, written on the heart, put into daily action. Mass attendance. Learn all you can. Pray, pray, pray. The sacrament of Confession.

My relationships suffer. A saint would not relate to people in the way I do. I must learn to trust in the Lord, to ask Him to bless my relationships. After all, did He not tell Peter and the disciples not to worry about what to say, for the Holy Spirit will supply the words for them. Do you believe this? Do I?

It is what we do all day long that makes us who we are. Was it Emerson who said, "A man is what he thinks about all day long"? Whether thought, act, or habit, all must be regulated at the foot of the Cross.

In the exercises of St. Ignatius you find the following mental exercise. Put yourself in a deep state of reverence for God and for Our Lord Jesus Christ. Put yourself in the Presence of Our Lord. Feel Him with you, above you, at your side, all around you. Now imagine yourself on the hill of Golgotha, kneeling at the foot of the Cross. See Him nailed up on it, suffering for your sake. See all the detail. Now ask yourself the following questions: "What have I done for Christ? What am I doing for Christ right now? What ought I do for Christ?"

What ought I do for Christ ??