Saturday, April 20, 2013

Nom de Guerre

I’ve discovered a new nom de guerre! More than a nickname, more than an alias! A new identity! Batman to Bruce Wayne, Superman to Clark Kent, Spidey to Peter Parker, Locutus to Jean-Luc Picard. Minus the whole pure amoral evil on that last one, of course.

What is this name?

Guy Dangerous.

Truth be told, it’s one of the characters in one of my daughter’s iPad games. That’s about all I know, except when I heard it, I also heard a voice stating:

This is the new you.

Now, it’s not a legal name change thing. It’s not, hey, call me Guy Dangerous when you pass my cubicle at work. I’m not going to start answering the phone, “Dangerous here.”

It’s my nom de guerre.

When I post something inflammatory online, I will use the handle “Guy Dangerous.” When I finish an automated telephone poll, I’ll firmly state that “Guy Dangerous” is the owner of this opinion. When I order takeout from the Chinese restaurant and they ask for a name, I’ll tell ’em it’s for “Guy Dangerous.”

I’ll even cut an index card in half, paint it black, and write “Guy Dangerous” on it if they require proof.

That’ll learn ’em.

Ah …

On second thought …

Maybe no to the whole Guy Dangerous thing.

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