SCENE: The Honda Accord this morning,
doing errands, to culminate in dropping off Patch, age 15, at the soccer field
for her reffing gig.
ME: I can prove to you that the universe
HAS to exist.
PATCH: (groaning) Not more philosophy,
Dad.
ME: Listen, this is cool. I’ll try to say
it slowly. It took me a little while to get it down myself.
PATCH: Do I have to?
ME: Yes, if you want me to continue my duties
as chauffeur.
PATCH: Ugh. Alright.
ME: This will prove that the universe
must exist. Assume there is nothing. No universe, nothing. Then there would be no
laws, because laws are something. If there are no laws, then everything is
permitted. If everything is permitted, that means that nothing is forbidden. If
nothing is forbidden, well, that means that nothing can not be. It can’t exist.
Therefore, something must exist. That something is what we call the universe.
PATCH: I hate philosophy! Just a bunch of
old nerds living in their parent’s basements trying to make everything more
complicated!
ME: What do you mean? They’re trying to
explain things.
PATCH: Well, maybe some philosophers are
okay. Maybe someone like Socrates was able to figure things out and explain
them in new ways.
ME: So would you lump Socrates in with
all these old nerds?
PATCH: Dad, I didn’t say Socrates lived in
his parent’s basement!
I think Socrates would have loved Patch.
1 comment:
That’s Patchilicious!
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