PC Resume

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I’m reading through my resume yesterday, and I notice the word “manager” pops up in a couple of spots.

“Manager.”

How sexist!

What an incredibly insensitive resume I have! My job titles completely and boorishly ignore 51 percent of the population and about 15-18 percent of my industry. Does that not make me out to be some unenlightened cretinous neanderthal?

Why, my resume must make some people positively feel bad.

So I immediately go to the PC, open it up in Word, and replace every “manager” with the thinking person’s compassionate and inclusive term:

Humanager.