Hopper's Presbyterian Service

Today my honorary nephew was confirmed in his church. I say “honorary” because he’s the son of the couple who my wife and I consider our best friends. His mom was my wife’s maid of honor at our wedding, and the dad is my drinking movie buddy. This boy is smart and accomplished; he’s working his way toward Eagle Scout, plays the viola in two orchestras, is very interested in STEM and wants to make a career out of it. He’s also very much into his religion – he’s won the perfect attendance award several years in a row now.

His family are true-blue died-in-the-wool Presbyterians. So today I attended my second Presbyterian service.

How did it rate to this dissatisfied Catholic revert contemplating a change?

Truth be told, there were pros and cons to my experience. Let me share. Oh, and I mean no disrespect to any Presbyterians who may be reading this. The following impressions are solely my own gut feelings from my own imperfect angle without too much thought or agenda put into them.

Cons:

My biggest impression was that the whole thing felt like a very spiritual Board of Ed meeting. I did not feel that sense of sacredness I often find in a well-done Catholic mass. I did feel the goodness of the congregation and the pastor as a whole, no argument there, but the service lacked the transcendence I desire so much in a religious experience.

The church itself lacked any statuary, any stained glass windows, any references to saints or the Blessed Virgin Mary. The cross behind and above the central stage (there was no altar) was small and, of course, had no corpus on it, as it does in a Catholic church. There were felt banners hanging which reminded me negatively of my youth in the 70s Catholic Church.

From a theological perspective, there was no Eucharist. For Catholics, that is the summit of our worship. It seemed odd and vaguely incomplete to me, for obvious reasons.

Pros:

The service was so much more reverent than what I am, disappointingly enough, accustomed to at Catholic mass. There were no sneakers, jeans, flip-flops, sports jerseys. Everyone was dressed to the nines on this mid-80s Spring day. Men wore jackets (or at least suit pants with collared shirts); woman and young ladies wore tasteful dresses (with one notable “goth” exception which stood out like a very sore thumb).

Everyone was friendly. Everyone who spoke was comfortable with public speaking.

The cliché that Protestants know their Bible and Catholics don’t has more than a grain of truth; the pews had a half-dozen Bibles each (though of a more gender-inclusive translation than I prefer), and people in the pews seemed to have no difficulty locating the passages to read along with the lectors.

The music! An organ playing traditional hymns (re: pre-1960s hymns) and a bell choir! There was no sign of the Godspell singers, singing-style, and songs that plague so many Catholic masses, nor were there any guitars, drums, or overzealous lead singers. No Woodstock infestation, blessedly enough. I was in heaven from this angle alone.

The bottom line:

Hopper will never convert to Presbyterianism, though it has my respect. To me, it seems they have the attitude but not the grace; whereas Catholics have the grace but not the attitude. Does that make sense? (You may have to step into my shoes to understand it.) But I was glad for the experience, and would gladly attend another such service.

Congrats, Tommy, you are a very impressive young man! Godspeed to you!