Resident Evil: Extinction

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Okay. I watched Resident Evil: Extinction with my buddy last night and was pleasantly surprised. Kinda like a cross between The Road Warrior and Dawn of the Dead, with hefty heapings of the Weyland-Yutani Corporation sprinkled in. You know, that eeeevil company from the Alien franchise. Particularly during all the scenes of the creepy labs populated with the sterile evility of the scientists from the Alien: Resurrection movie.

So while there wasn’t anything on the flatscreen you didn’t see before, it was unique in the way it mixed all together. I enjoyed it. I went in expecting a gore fest, and it was – but not as bad as I thought it would be. The special effects were pretty decent but not nauseating. The plot was (almost) solid, the pacing well (no shaky cam), the dialogue (generally) believable. A corny line here and there, usually spoken by Milla, but that’s forgivable.

I had a problem with the baddie being a truly Eeeeeeevil scientist of a cartoonishly-exponentiated degree. I’d have rewritten the ending to have him get a most deserved and terribly ironic comeuppance, but the screenwriters have him morph into a ridiculous tentacle monster. I guess it’s to stay faithful to the video game that legions of teenage boys would be familiar with; I don’t know, I haven’t played a video game since Quake in 1997. Still, though, it moved, and even Tentacle Thing got a decent bowl of just desserts.

The best thing about the Resident Evil movies, of course, is Milla Jovovich. Ah, Milla! Sure she isn’t what you’d exactly call a thespian, but who ever looked better slaughtering zombies in a torn red dress? I think you stole my heart when I first saw you in The Fifth Element oh so many years ago. Now we need CGI to smooth out your face, but you’re still beautiful – all right, I’m going to stop here right now before embarrassing myself any further …

Grade: B+. What can I say? I liked it.