Thursday, July 30, 2009

Grandmother's Song

...

Be courteous kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day.
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a nice thing to say.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,

Be witty and happy and wise.
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple and clairvoyant.

Be pompous, obese and eat cactus,
Be dull and boring and omnipresent.
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

Be tasteless, rude and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional.
Put a live chicken in your under pants,
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.

alternative last line: Go into a closet and suck eggs!


From the comedy album “Let’s Get Small” (1977) by the mighty Steve Martin.

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