Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It's Raw!

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I’m not a big fan of teevee in general. I think I like, maybe, a half-dozen shows. Well, let’s see. My current favorite and what I regard as the funniest show on the air right now is The Office. I’m ashamed to admit I like American Idol, too, mostly the really, really bad auditions at the beginning of the season. I tend to dislike having “Idols” force-fed down my throat, as the shows does in its final couple of weeks. Also, I’m embarrassed to admit, I was sucked into Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice a few months ago.

Other than that, as far as shows go, I try to catch Simpsons and Family Guy whenever I can. Also, the more weird and esoteric shows you see on the History Channel and the usually-bad Sci-Fi channel, such as Monster Quest (though I find that the shaky-cam and ADD-editing of UFO Hunters makes that show unwatchable). Other things I’ll watch: O’Reilly in real small doses, Kudlow on CNBC once in a while, Discovery Channel documentaries if it’s one of those odd little topics I’m into. Primarily I watch teevee for the movies. The hierarchy goes something like this: the black-and-whites on TCM, some choice bad Sci-Fi channel movies (for the camp), then any other station.

But I just found one of my secret pleasures is back on the air, a new season six months early! Normally I think it starts around January, but now it’s geared up again to ruthlessly demand an hour of my life every week. I am talking about Hell’s Kitchen.

Now, in the early days of this blog, I posted on the differences between Top Chef and Hell’s Kitchen. See here. Nowadays, I don’t watch Top Chef. There’s something about it that’s too snobby for my tastes. And back in May I made a decision to stop watching Hell’s Kitchen, because I felt “dirty” every time I’d watch an episode.

Why?

Hmmm. I guess, if I can stream-of-conscious it here, the show just seems sweaty and dirty. The contestants are sweaty and dirty. They’re gross. I would not want to eat anything prepared by them. And not only are they gross, they’re stupid. Or at least the producers are sure to include a couple of really dumb apples, I guess to get under Chef Gordon’s skin. You know, conflict. Conflict sells reality teevee sells beer and shampoo.


And Chef Gordon. Yeah, I know the guy’s a gazillionaire, and he owns-slash-runs a hundred restaurants all across the globe. And he’s the best chef to ever boil water. But … his people skills are decidedly lacking. However, I did catch a couple of those shows he does where he turns around restaurants that are sinking faster than the Titanic. He does have a human side, and if you had to boil down his management philosophy to a trite phrase, it’d be “tough love.” Still, all these ingredients thrown into the pot make for something quite off-putting.

And I will be watching it tonight. Oh dear, what does this say about me? That I consider HK a guilty pleasure? Or I detest myself for liking something so lowbrow? Or that I enjoy vicarious conflict? Probably all three. But I’ll tell you this:

This season is the last season I’m watching! I swear! Really, I really, really this is the last season of Hell’s Kitchen for LE! I promise!

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