Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Flex Move Exert

All right. Let’s assume we have three weeks of good sleep behind us. That should take care of our sleep debt, right? We’re now waking up with sunny dispositions, no longer dreading the seemingly endless list of tasks and projects awaiting us. We have energy now that we never thought we could have. All from an extra hour or two of shut-eye a night, a night of sleep without interruption.

Great, fine and dandy. What’s next?

I think the next focus would have to be exercise. Next to a full night’s rest and recovery, exercise is the most immediate and most widespread activity you can do to change your life circumstances.

Here’s the thing: Everybody hates the word ‘exercise.’ I do, even when I loved doing it. But here’s the other, better thing: You don’t have to overdo it. In fact, if you do, you will only be harming yourself. No more harming yourself, right? So I encourage you not to overdo it. Don’t go overboard with the exercise.

There are three things you and I need to do in this area. They don’t take much time and effort, so there’s really nothing to worry about. When I do these three little things, even for just a couple of days, I noticeably feel better physically and mentally.

First, you have to stretch. The older you get, the more important this is, and I’m talking from experience. Being cramped and stiff physically really does lend to feeling cramped and stiff mentally. I don’t know why. But if those Indians thousands of years ago saw the wisdom in it, well, who are us factory-fed couch potatoes to disagree?

I have done yoga in the past. After my surgeries I did it for almost two months straight. But something with it never clicked with me. I felt sort of oogy with all the New-Agey spirituality and the Stepford-wives look on all the models in the yoga videos. If you like it and can stick with it, great, but I can’t. But I do like the feeling of being well-stretched out. I think it has something to do with the blood circulation, but that’s just a guess. I’m just speaking from experience here.

So I spend five minutes twice a day stretching. I usually do it in the kitchen. I stretch the hammies, the quads, my calves. Then I reach for the sky and bend to the left and the right. I stretch out my upper and lower arms, and do that thing with your head where you slowly and carefully swivel it about 360 degrees, stretching your neck. If I’m feeling particularly energetic (not so much lately, but often last summer) I’ll do some of the old yoga poses. I got very flexible six months ago, now I’m very tight again.

The other two things you need to do to really improve how you feel is – wait, you’ve heard it before – cardio and weight-lifting.

I loved weight-lifting, but not so much cardio. I went through a jogging phase as a pre-teen and again from 2001-2004, but aside from that I always hated cardio. And to top it all off, the doctor says I need to primarily do cardio for my heart.

The trick is to make it fun.

The funnest part is that you get one day a week off. Great!

The second funnest part is that you alternate your cardio and weight-lifting days, so you’re never overloaded time-wise or energy-wise. Awesome!

The third funnest part is that you are not required to do it for longer than 20 minutes at a sitting. Bitchin’!

Violate any of the above rules and we will penalize you severely! You are not to be a hero! You are merely trying to strive for the perfection of consistency.

They say swimming is the best cardio, ’cause its low-impact. Rather, it’s no-impact. No pavement-pounding to worry the knee ligs. Since I don’t have a pool or the money to afford membership at the Y, I ride my stationary bike. Boring, but I get through it. Problem is, I only last a little over ten minutes. The doc said it’s okay, so long as every time I do it I go a little bit longer. I’m sporadic with this, because I dislike cardio so much and it’s so difficult for me now, but back in July-August I did the bike consistently for six or seven weeks. As far as measurable results go, my bad lung improved 50% in functionality, and my doctor encouraged me to keep up and keep on.

So, ideally, I’d do my bike Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Up to 20 minutes at at time.

Then, you gotta do weights on the other three days. There are two arguments that I always found persuasive. First, tangible: Muscle burns more calories than fat, so the more muscle you carry, the greater your resting metabolism. That means you can eat more, relatively speaking. Second, the intangible: The more muscle you carry, the more confident you are. This is something I’ve known ever since my dad first brought me and my brother down to the basement thirty years ago to lift some rusted five- and ten-pound plates.

I used to have all the big weights and benches and accessories, but I gave most away. Now I use a 76-pound metal weight set with two dumbbells. I do curls, overhead presses, push-ups with those raised push-up handles, calf raises and leg dips. Without distraction, I can do two sets of each in 20 minutes. Put on some Henry Rollins or AC/DC, and the time goes by quickly and enjoyably. You find the right mix for yourself, but you need to do it.

So, ten minutes a day every day stretching. Twenty minutes a day doing, on alternate days, cardio and weightlifting, with a day off. Total time spent, weekly, on your physique: 190 minutes, a little over three hours. Out of 168 hours. That’s not even 2 percent of your entire week. You spend more time watching teevee commercials, for cryin’ out loud. So, put in the three hours. Not a bad investment, time-wise, for something that will bring back so very, very much more.

Do it!

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