As a kid I was infatuated with strange oddities and esoterica; my favorite show was Leonard Nimoy’s In Search Of… My mother was a librarian back then, so when she watched me while she worked I basically camped out in the 001.9 section and read everything cover to cover. UFOs. Bigfoot. The Bermuda Triangle. Atlantis. Mermaids and sea monsters and Nessie. Ghosts and the paranormal. Later, as I got older, I read all those books on History’s mysteries. I ate it all up; I lived it. Once I even mistook my mother taking out the trash for a suburban sasquatch.
One Christmas my brother and I got a pair of inexpensive starter cameras, and I don’t think it was too long before the idea popped into my head that I should photograph a UFO.
I enlisted my little brother’s aid for the hoax. I had to, because I needed a special effects man. Not content to paint a frisbee silver and photograph it after tossing it into the air, I decided this would be the Cecil B. DeMille of UFO photography.
How so? First, we decided to shoot it in a controlled environment. Our basement. Then, we needed a prop. I had my brother cut and nail together a saucer-shaped ship out of wood that was really just a glorified two-dimensional UFO, about a foot in diameter. I think we painted it gold for some reason; possibly it was spray paint left over from when I did a really crappy 3D Mayan temple for a social studies class. We nailed it up on the concrete wall and planned on taking “night time” photos, but still, that wasn’t enough.
There needed to be a storm! And the UFO needs to explode at the end! Hmmm. How might we accomplish this? Remember, this was about twenty-five years before the advent of digital cameras. The cameras we had were the size of a brick and took manual film that had to be inserted and wound into the back of the device. Film that cost money. Money that we got from our parents. So, we couldn’t be wasteful; this had to be planned carefully.
I got it! Bubble wrap! Yes!
I figured if I stood about ten feet from the concrete wall where our golden saucer hung mounted and put some bubble wrap over the lens, it would simulate stormy conditions. Makes perfect sense, right?
Anyway, I think we had maybe seven or eight pictures having used four or five on more mundane subjects (the cat, our toys, etc). I had my brother work the light switch and a flashlight. On cue, he turned off the incandescent bulbs and shined the flashlight on our craft. I took a picture from the opposite wall, then moved in closer for another shot, then tilted it at a crazy angle for a third. I was concocting a story in my mind during this; something like me and my brother outside looking at the moon when we saw a spaceship and started running away but it spotted us and zoomed in.
But then, the UFO caused storms to flare up! Winds and clouds and fog! I put the bubble wrap over the lens and took a couple more photos. From different angles, because now the spaceship was following us through the woods.
Then, the grand finale. Somehow, for some strange, unknown reason, the UFO exploded in a gargantuan display of pyrotechnic fireworks. Unfortunately, on our nonexistant budget, I was at a loss on how to make this happen photographically. Seeing my sullen brother relegated to the stairs, one hand on the light switch and another dangling the flashlight, I had a sudden urge of inspiration.
It would take precision timing, but it just might work. I explained it to my brother, and we began a simultaneous countdown. 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – NOW! My brother turned on the overhead lights as I instantaneously clicked the camera. Deep down I knew it would work – there, on the photo, would be a blinding blur of light over our UFO which would clearly show to the discerning eye a fifty-foot spaceship exploding.
Satisfied, we had the film developed. I don’t recall how, but it probably involved my mother or father dropping the camera off at a film store. We’d go back and get it in a couple of days. I was excited for the rest of the day, but then promptly forgot about it.
A week passed, if I remember correctly, and my father had us out on errands. I realized then he was going to get the film! Oh no! I had forgotten clearly about our cover story. I prodded my brother to tell him, but he wouldn’t, so I cleared my throat and began by telling my father, “Uh, we forgot to tell you … we saw a UFO last week!”
I saw him smile in the rear view mirror. Scenes of me watching In Search Of … or with flying saucer books in my lap or hypnotized two feet from the teevee watching this movie. “Oh, really?” he said, and I think his tone was encouraging me to talk more, but I felt a little self-conscious, and somehow the conversation just kinda dead-ended.
We walked in with him to the store, all the way up to the girl at the counter. He gave her our film tag and she disappeared in the back for a few minutes. How excited I was, minutes from the greatest hoax ever! Then, she came out, a little forlorn expression adorning her face. “I’m sorry,” she said, “but the last seven pictures on this roll of film could not be developed.”
My father nodded and smiled knowingly, but didn’t say anything.
We got back home and showed my mother our pictures of the cat, our toys, etc.
One Christmas my brother and I got a pair of inexpensive starter cameras, and I don’t think it was too long before the idea popped into my head that I should photograph a UFO.
I enlisted my little brother’s aid for the hoax. I had to, because I needed a special effects man. Not content to paint a frisbee silver and photograph it after tossing it into the air, I decided this would be the Cecil B. DeMille of UFO photography.
How so? First, we decided to shoot it in a controlled environment. Our basement. Then, we needed a prop. I had my brother cut and nail together a saucer-shaped ship out of wood that was really just a glorified two-dimensional UFO, about a foot in diameter. I think we painted it gold for some reason; possibly it was spray paint left over from when I did a really crappy 3D Mayan temple for a social studies class. We nailed it up on the concrete wall and planned on taking “night time” photos, but still, that wasn’t enough.
There needed to be a storm! And the UFO needs to explode at the end! Hmmm. How might we accomplish this? Remember, this was about twenty-five years before the advent of digital cameras. The cameras we had were the size of a brick and took manual film that had to be inserted and wound into the back of the device. Film that cost money. Money that we got from our parents. So, we couldn’t be wasteful; this had to be planned carefully.
I got it! Bubble wrap! Yes!
I figured if I stood about ten feet from the concrete wall where our golden saucer hung mounted and put some bubble wrap over the lens, it would simulate stormy conditions. Makes perfect sense, right?
Anyway, I think we had maybe seven or eight pictures having used four or five on more mundane subjects (the cat, our toys, etc). I had my brother work the light switch and a flashlight. On cue, he turned off the incandescent bulbs and shined the flashlight on our craft. I took a picture from the opposite wall, then moved in closer for another shot, then tilted it at a crazy angle for a third. I was concocting a story in my mind during this; something like me and my brother outside looking at the moon when we saw a spaceship and started running away but it spotted us and zoomed in.
But then, the UFO caused storms to flare up! Winds and clouds and fog! I put the bubble wrap over the lens and took a couple more photos. From different angles, because now the spaceship was following us through the woods.
Then, the grand finale. Somehow, for some strange, unknown reason, the UFO exploded in a gargantuan display of pyrotechnic fireworks. Unfortunately, on our nonexistant budget, I was at a loss on how to make this happen photographically. Seeing my sullen brother relegated to the stairs, one hand on the light switch and another dangling the flashlight, I had a sudden urge of inspiration.
It would take precision timing, but it just might work. I explained it to my brother, and we began a simultaneous countdown. 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – NOW! My brother turned on the overhead lights as I instantaneously clicked the camera. Deep down I knew it would work – there, on the photo, would be a blinding blur of light over our UFO which would clearly show to the discerning eye a fifty-foot spaceship exploding.
Satisfied, we had the film developed. I don’t recall how, but it probably involved my mother or father dropping the camera off at a film store. We’d go back and get it in a couple of days. I was excited for the rest of the day, but then promptly forgot about it.
A week passed, if I remember correctly, and my father had us out on errands. I realized then he was going to get the film! Oh no! I had forgotten clearly about our cover story. I prodded my brother to tell him, but he wouldn’t, so I cleared my throat and began by telling my father, “Uh, we forgot to tell you … we saw a UFO last week!”
I saw him smile in the rear view mirror. Scenes of me watching In Search Of … or with flying saucer books in my lap or hypnotized two feet from the teevee watching this movie. “Oh, really?” he said, and I think his tone was encouraging me to talk more, but I felt a little self-conscious, and somehow the conversation just kinda dead-ended.
We walked in with him to the store, all the way up to the girl at the counter. He gave her our film tag and she disappeared in the back for a few minutes. How excited I was, minutes from the greatest hoax ever! Then, she came out, a little forlorn expression adorning her face. “I’m sorry,” she said, “but the last seven pictures on this roll of film could not be developed.”
My father nodded and smiled knowingly, but didn’t say anything.
We got back home and showed my mother our pictures of the cat, our toys, etc.
But my fascination with extraterrestrial visitors did not end that day.
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