My Strangest Halloween Experience

No, it was nothing of the frightening sort, but it was a bit confusing. Here, let me explain.

It happened near the house where I grew up, so it was before my parents divorced, but I was by myself, so I wasn’t that young. I don’t remember what costume I wore but it wasn’t anything elaborate, so I was transitioning out of the it’s-fun-to-dress-up stage while still remaining firmly in the candy-is-awesome camp. Probably Halloween 1978, I would guess, putting me at about 11.

I went up to a dark house and rang the bell. There were frantic commotion noises from inside, but no one came to the door for a long minute or two. Unsure of whether to ring again, I got up on tip-toes and peered in through the small diamond-shaped window in the wooden door.

What I saw shocked me.

A naked lady ran up the stairs. I saw her big white butt bouncing as she took the stairs two at a time. She wasn’t fat but she wasn’t skinny either; normal, I suppose. She didn’t see me looking in, but still I jumped back, thinking I just did something very wrong.

Immediately there was a noise to my left; the side door opened and some dude came out and nonchalantly (or trying to be, at least, it seemed to little old me) put a bag of trash on the curb. He had a cigarette. When he saw me he just said, dismissively “We don’t have no candy.” I thanked him and went on my way.

Up to now I think the only person I’ve told about this was my wife. She doesn’t know whether or not to believe it, but I swear on all the ghosts and goblins of Halloween, it was true.